Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
