This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
