Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
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I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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