There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
