my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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