i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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