you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I am naked and annoyed.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
