im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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