Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
