I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize