I am puke
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
