your room smells of hookers.
And success
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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