do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
