yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
