Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.

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(650): View more from California

We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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(919): View more from North Carolina

every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends

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(707): View more from California

Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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(425): View more from Washington

Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable

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(773): View more from Illinois

Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well

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(540): View more from Virginia

LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.

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(303): View more from Colorado

How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????

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