well you can't waste a boner
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
