do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize