I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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