I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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