Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
