i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
