i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
my liver is dry heaving
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
