oh god the rape fog is back!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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