Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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