Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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