here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
