I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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