Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
only if we run a train.
done.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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