what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
