Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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