How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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