The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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