I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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