i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
