I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
