He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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