so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
