She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
