She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
