Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
