So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
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Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We need to get me chipped asap
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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