I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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