Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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