so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
