So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
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How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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