you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
