A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
