I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're like the curious george of whores
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
