I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
