No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
