Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
