What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
