i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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