all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
