How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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