Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
