Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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