You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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